Hi Everyone, Firstly I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year and all the very best for 2020.....for my first blog post of the new year I would like to talk about .... 'communication' ...and I will be giving some tips on how you can improve your communication skills and approaches, to make it a happier and joyful 2020 for both you and those around you!
So....Communication... verbal communication.....non verbal communication.....personal communication...power communication...it all boils down to the same thing....if we want our lives to be happier in our personal relationships, it helps to be good at it!
'No man is an island', because the truth is we can all be dependent on each other. Even those we disagree with. All our lives are based on relationships no matter what we do. Communication is an exchange of opinions, thoughts and ideas, via speaking, writing or demonstrating. We must communicate with our family, friends, employer, employees, clients or customers every day of our lives. It is important to understand that communication is a two way flow, an exchange; and that every action has a reaction. Communication is not one way. We need feedback from the person on the receiving end of our communication effort. It is also a good idea to keep in mind the concept that everything is energy and what we put out we get back, I feel there is a great deal of truth to this. But that is for another blog. So lets get deeper into 'communication'.....
Non verbal communication (or 'body language') is closely akin to our 'self communication', since it is often the outermost sign of our innermost feelings, both conscious and subconscious. So it is important to understand the meaning of our gestures and those of others and be consciously aware of how we feel within ourselves, because our internal reality tends to reflect our external reality. We can then use this wisdom to build communication bridges in our communications with others.
The modern world has made communication more difficult, as with the advent of mobile phones and the internet, these days it is all too common, that instead of meeting a person face to face or even calling them on the phone, we send phone texts or social media messages, usually without really thinking. It is quite commonly accepted that 55% of communication is body language, 38% is the tone of voice, and only 7% is the actual words spoken. Therefore when you send someone a message via text or Facebook, it is the poorest form of communication and is very open to crossed wires, misunderstandings and conflict. It might be easier in the short term (and at times more convenient) not to face someone by sending them a quick text (which has it's place of course) but there is nothing like looking into someones eyes or hearing their tone of voice. You can use the exact same words in the same order, but change the 'tone of voice' and the meaning changes. Also, keep in mind your state or mind and mood while corresponding with people on social media and/or the phone. Your response/reaction to a message and what meaning you take from it, can be very much dependent on whether you are feeling happy or sad, cheerful or gloomy.
So this is my first tip. Instead of sending someone a message on Facebook, perhaps make that extra time and effort to phone them or even better meet them for a coffee. I know from personal experience that a conflict that might arise easy on social media and unnecessarily escalate to unsolvable proportions, can be resolved very quickly with a face to face meet up. In fact before the age of phone/social media this is how long term friendships thrived. More over I have personally found that, in general, the less time spent on social media/phone they happier I am. It's not only the communication part of it, but it is addictive and you would be surprised how much time is wasted and consumed because if it. My experience of course...
My second tip is this....How many times do you find yourself with crossed arms, feet firmly planted apart, and back as straight as an arrow while someone is trying to tell you something? This body language says "I'm shutting you off"; "Prove it"; "I'm close minded to what you are saying". This is one sure fire way of alienating someone. Instead, I suggest keep an open mind. There is an old saying "We are born with two ears and one one mouth, use them in proportion" and I feel this is very true. Agree before you disagree, and try to agree more than you disagree. Ask people for their opinions. Be genuinely interested in their point of view. Build the person up by respecting his or her opinion or knowledge. You will get it back tenfold, and dialogue will be a lot more productive. Also remember peoples first names, they are important to people. We are often to quick to judge and we 'hear' people but don't 'listen'; to often just waiting for them to finish speaking to get our point of view across. We live in an age of 'opinions', yes everyone has one, but it's a good philosophy to have, to understand that none of us have all the answers and we could be wrong about different things. So it's really best to keep that 'belief system' (and opinions within it) fluid and open to change. Of course respectfully agreeing to differ' (which seems to becoming less and less the dynamic of the world we live in.....social media for example Facebook seems to be full of judgemental 'know it alls' quite happy to tell you how to live your life) is also a great thing! As the great man himself Dr. Wayne Dyer once said: “If you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose being kind”.
Last but not least, learn to laugh about life...laugh with others.... and don't take yourself too seriously...look at negative situations and conflict as challenges and opportunities to grow (stronger). Always look for solutions not for problems. Develop a warm feeling for people and let this come through physically with smiling eyes and mouth! Sincerely, life is too short to be anything other that happy. Every day is an new opportunity to live life and make a difference, both to yourself and others around you. By improving your communication skills by taking on these tips, you may find your internal happiness and joy for life will increase. :)
I hope you have enjoyed this blog. Check out my new website that is now live at: waterford-hypnosis.com . I have been meaning to do it for a long time and like the old saying goes if you want something done, do it yourself and after a lot of time and effort I did that! I am very pleased with the results, so enjoy!
© Trevor Eivers 2020
My name if Trevor Eivers and I am based in Waterford, Ireland. I am a Certified Consulting Hypnotist (since 2010) with the National Guild of Hypnotists (NGH), which is the largest hypnosis body in the world with over 14,000 members in 83 different countries worldwide. I am also a Certified NLP practitioner. I love my job in which I help everyday people with everyday issues. Contact me at 086-8211677 or check me out online at waterford-hypnosis.com or Facebook at : https://www.facebook.com/pages/Trevor-Eivers-Hypnosis/177881245578285